Because of my recent relocation, I have been sorting through a lot of old possessions and deciding which to keep and which to throw away. In the course of the project I came across an old address book emblazoned with the name "OWL CLEANERS." This was presumably some laundromat or dry cleaner that may or may not still be in business. For me, the name conjured images of devices for washing this guy - presumably a daunting task.
In other silliness, we have an important warning from The Onion:
WASHINGTON, DC—The Environmental Protection Agency issued a bulletin Tuesday warning the bodies of American citizens, with their large concentrations of artificial, synthetic, and often toxic substances, have been reclassified as industrial waste.Given recent headlines, it is tempting to think The Onion is doing real journalism instead of satire.
"The average human body is now only 35 percent organic," EPA chief Ralph Johnson said. "Due to changes brought about by modern detergents, silicone implants, and processed cheese food product, it is no longer safe to allow human tissue to come into contact with our nation's topsoil."