The Onion reports that Souter Hopes Roberts Is Into Birds

WASHINGTON, DC—Anticipating the confirmation of federal appeals court Judge John Roberts to the Supreme Court, Justice David Souter expressed hope Tuesday that his new colleague will be into birds. "For 15 years, I have found no one on the court who would so much as look at my sighting books or field guides," Souter said. "Perhaps one day after adjournment, [Roberts] and I could go to Kenilworth Park and look for red-necked stints." Souter added that it would also be nice if Roberts shared his feelings on abortion, states' rights, and the Cebu flowerpecker.

Not that red-necked stints are likely to be seen in Kenilworth Park...